Recovery Sunday Logo
1 (800) 626-6910
Donate

Call Us

I'm Concerned About Someone I Love

Individuals & Family Support

Family Support

Understanding. Support. Hope for the Whole Family.

This page is for anyone concerned about a spouse, parent, sibling, friend, or other loved one. You do not need to know exactly what is happening before you ask for guidance or support.

A Story of Hope

Hear Jean and Matt’s Story

Jean and Matt share their family’s experience with addiction and recovery—and the hope that can grow when families find understanding, support, and a path forward.
Visit Jean Heaton's Website

Watch Jean and Matt’s Story

What You May Be Noticing?

Substance use can affect people in different ways. You may recognize one of these changes, several of them, or none of them.

  • Their alcohol or drug use seems more frequent, less controlled, or more central to daily life.
  • They are missing work, school, appointments, family events, or other responsibilities.
  • They continue using after health, legal, financial, work, or relationship problems.
  • They seem shaky, ill, anxious, or otherwise unwell when they stop using.
  • Their sleep, mood, memory, health, appearance, or personality has changed.
  • There is more secrecy, isolation, conflict, unexplained spending, or difficulty accounting for time.
  • They have tried to cut back or stop but have not been able to.
  • They drive while impaired, mix substances, use alone, or have experienced an overdose or other medical emergency.

*None of these changes proves that someone has an addiction. They are reasons to pay attention, protect safety, and seek guidance from a healthcare or addiction professional.

Learn How to Help

You cannot diagnose another person or make them choose recovery. You can speak honestly about what you have observed, offer practical help, decide what behavior you can safely live with, and find support for yourself. Your wellbeing matters even if your loved one is not ready to change.

How to Begin a Conversation

There is no perfect script. The ideas below are options you can adapt to your relationship and the situation.

Choose a calmer moment

If possible, talk privately when neither of you is rushed and your loved one is not intoxicated. If the situation is unsafe or they are in crisis, focus on immediate safety instead of having a longer conversation.

Speak from care and what you have observed

Use specific examples and avoid labels, accusations, or arguments about whether they have an addiction. A calm, nonjudgmental tone can make it easier for the other person to listen.

Listen and offer a concrete choice

Ask what they think is happening and listen to the response. You might offer to call a doctor, look at treatment options together, arrange transportation, or accompany them to an appointment or meeting.

Words you might use

“I care about you, and I am worried. I have noticed [specific change]. I am not here to argue or label you. Would you be willing to talk with a healthcare or addiction professional? I can help you make the call or go with you.”

If They Do Not Want Help

Their refusal does not mean the conversation was pointless. You can pause, avoid repeating the same argument, and return to the subject later. You can also speak with a professional or attend a family support meeting without waiting for your loved one to participate.

Conversation Guide

NIAAA Starting the Conversation

Practical suggestions for talking with an adult loved one about alcohol treatment.

Free PDF

SAMHSA Starting the Conversation Guide

A short guide for families and caregivers beginning a conversation about mental health or substance use.

Find Help for a Loved One

There is no required order. Begin with the kind of help that fits the situation now.

Resource Finder

Gethelpgivehelp.info

Free, anonymous, step-by-step guidance for anyone concerned about a loved one’s alcohol or drug use.

Treatment Finder

FindTreatment.gov

Search for substance use and mental health treatment by location and service type.

Treatment Finder

NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator

Find evidence-based alcohol treatment for an adult loved one and learn how to compare providers.

Phone

SAMHSA National Helpline

Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for confidential treatment information and referrals. This is not an emergency or crisis line.

Find Support for Yourself

You deserve support whether or not your loved one accepts help. Family therapy, individual counseling, pastoral care, and peer groups can give you a place to speak honestly and learn from others with similar experiences. Prayer, pastoral support, and the sacraments can sustain families through uncertainty and recovery. They should complement, not replace, appropriate medical care, counseling, treatment, or attention to safety.

Family Support

Catholic in Recovery for Families

Faith-centered support and fellowship for people affected by a loved one’s addiction or unhealthy attachment.

Meeting Finder

Al-Anon Family Groups

Peer-led Twelve-Step meetings for people affected by someone else’s drinking.

Meeting Finder

Nar-Anon Family Groups

Twelve-Step meetings for relatives and friends affected by someone else’s drug use.

Family Program

SMART Recovery Family & Friends

Free meetings and practical tools focused on coping, communication, and personal balance.

Family Helpline

Partnership to End Addiction

Free and confidential support for parents, caregivers, and others helping a loved one with substance use.

Explore More Resources

Additional guidance for conversations, care, and faith-centered recovery

Family Guides and Tools

Free PDF

Navigating Mental Health and Substance Use Care

A SAMHSA guide to understanding care, asking questions, and supporting a family member through treatment.

Website

NIAAA Caretaker Support Resources

Information about family therapy and mutual-support options for people affected by a loved one’s drinking.

Free Worksheets

SMART Recovery Family & Friends Worksheets

Practical worksheets on coping, communication, and changing unhelpful patterns.

Safety Tool

Family Safety Plan

A planning worksheet from Partnership to End Addiction for parents and caregivers concerned about a teen or young adult.

Faith and Family Recovery

Book

Helping Families Recover from Addiction

Jean Heaton connects Twelve-Step practices and Ignatian spirituality with healing for families affected by addiction.

Website

Jean Heaton

Reflections on Catholic faith, family recovery, and living with the effects of a loved one’s addiction.

Family Support

Catholic in Recovery

Information about Catholic fellowship and virtual Family and Friends meetings.

You Do Not Have to Solve Everything Today

You can begin by learning more, talking with a professional, finding support for yourself, or choosing a calm time to speak with your loved one. Any of those can be a meaningful beginning.
Recovery is possible, and families can heal. Hope for your loved one does not require putting your own health or safety aside.

!! Important Safety Information

Know what to do in an emergency

If an overdose may be happening

Call 911 immediately. If opioids may be involved, give naloxone as quickly as possible if it is available. Try to keep the person awake and breathing, place them on their side to reduce the risk of choking, and stay with them until emergency help arrives.

If there are threats or violence

Your safety and the safety of others come first. If there is immediate danger, move to a safer place if you can and call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential safety planning and support at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), by text START to 88788, or online.

If there is an emotional or suicide crisis

Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can contact 988 about your own distress or because you are concerned about someone else.

Do not try to manage dangerous withdrawal at home

Suddenly stopping heavy, prolonged alcohol use can cause life-threatening withdrawal. Benzodiazepine medications should not be stopped abruptly. Encourage your loved one to seek medical guidance. Call 911 for a seizure, severe confusion, trouble breathing, loss of consciousness, or another medical emergency.