I’m Concerned About My Child

Individuals & Family Support

resources for parents & caregivers

Find help with conversations, care decisions, and support

When you are worried about your child’s alcohol or drug use, it can be hard to know what to say or where to turn. Maybe you have noticed changes, found something concerning, or learned that your child is already using. You do not have to be certain that your child has an addiction before asking for help.

These resources are for parents and caregivers concerned about a child, teen, or adult son or daughter. Find help with conversations, care decisions, and support for your family.

A Story of Hope

Hear Doug’s Story

A father’s honest account of recognizing his child’s substance use, finding the words to talk about it, and helping his family find their way toward support and hope.

Watch Doug's Story (Video currently in production.)

https://vimeo.com

What Have You Been Noticing?

You may be seeing changes at home, at school, or in how your child spends time. Pay attention to what is different for your child.

*These signs do not establish a diagnosis. Changes can have other causes, including mental health concerns. A healthcare professional can help you understand what your child needs.

Learn How to Help My Child

If you are worried about your child’s alcohol or drug use, knowing how to bring it up can be difficult. You do not need a perfect script. Start with what you have noticed, ask a clear question, and give your child time to answer.

Choose a calm, private moment

Talk when your child is not intoxicated and neither of you is rushing. Choose somewhere you can speak without siblings or other people listening.

You might say

“Could we have some time together tonight? There’s something I’m concerned about, and I want to hear from you.”

Be specific about your concern

Describe what you have observed without assuming you know the explanation. If you found alcohol, pills, or a vape, ask about it directly.

If you found something

“I found a vape in your backpack. Can you tell me what’s in it and whether you’ve been using it?”

If you have noticed changes

“You’ve missed school a few times, and you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. How have things been going?”

If you are concerned about alcohol or drugs

“Have you been drinking, using cannabis, or taking any pills that weren’t prescribed to you?”

Give your child room to answer

Ask one question at a time. Try to listen without immediately correcting, lecturing, or listing consequences. You can take their answer seriously while still being concerned about their safety.

You might ask

“What would you like me to understand?”

If your child tells you they are using

Thank them for telling you. Ask about what they are using and how often, without trying to resolve everything in one conversation.

You might say

“Thank you for telling me. I know this may be hard to talk about. Can you tell me what you’ve been using and how often?”

If your child says nothing is wrong

Avoid turning the conversation into an argument about getting a confession. Return to the specific concern.

You might say

“I hear what you’re saying. I’m still concerned about what I’ve noticed, and I want to understand what’s happening.”

If your child gets upset or shuts down

If it is safe to pause, give the conversation some space and agree on a time to return to it.

You might say

“We can take a break. I love you, and I want to keep talking about this. Let’s try again tomorrow.”

End with a concrete next step

For a child or teen, a next step may be contacting their pediatrician. For an adult son or daughter, offer help arranging an appointment or finding a professional together.

For a child or teen

“I’m going to call your doctor so we can get some guidance. Is there anything you’re worried about discussing?”

For an adult child

“Would you be willing to talk with someone about this? I can help find a provider or go with you if you’d like.”

You can seek guidance for yourself even if your child is not ready to talk. A parent support specialist can help you decide how to continue the conversation.

Connect With A Parent Support Specialist

More Help With Conversations

Talking With Your Teen

Practical suggestions from the American Academy of Pediatrics for conversations about alcohol, drugs, and safety.

Parent Conversation Guide

A free SAMHSA guide to discussing alcohol and other drugs with children at different ages.

Find Help for My Child

An assessment can help you understand your child’s substance use and whether counseling, treatment, or another kind of support is appropriate. You do not need to choose a treatment program on your own.

For a child or teen

Start with your child’s pediatrician or an adolescent substance use professional. Share what you have observed and ask about screening for substance use and mental health concerns. A school counselor can help you connect with resources and plan school support.

For an adult son or daughter

Offer to help your child contact a primary care provider or addiction professional. Ask the provider how family participation and privacy are handled. Even if your child declines care, you can contact a family support specialist for help with your own next steps.

Questions to ask a provider

Parent Guidance

Partnership to End Addiction

Free, confidential help for parents and caregivers concerned about a child’s substance use. Discuss your situation with a specialist and explore next steps. This is not an emergency service.

Treatment Finder

FindTreatment.gov

Search for substance use and mental health providers. Confirm directly that a provider serves your child’s age group and offers the care your child needs.

Phone

SAMHSA National Helpline

Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for treatment information and referrals. Tell the specialist your child’s age and what you are concerned about. This is not an emergency or crisis line.

Find Support as a Parent

Counseling and parent support groups give you a place to ask questions, talk about your concerns, and find guidance on helping your child. You can reach out whether or not your child is receiving treatment.

Catholic Family Support

Catholic in Recovery

Catholic fellowship for family members affected by addiction, including parents concerned about a son or daughter.

Parent Support

Partnership to End Addiction

Online groups and personalized guidance for parents and caregivers of children of different ages who are experimenting with or dependent on substances.

Meeting Finder

Al-Anon Family Groups

Peer support for people affected by someone else’s drinking, including parents concerned about a child’s alcohol use.

Meeting Finder

Nar-Anon Family Groups

Twelve-Step support for relatives and friends affected by drug addiction, including parents.

Family Program

SMART Recovery Family & Friends

Free meetings and practical tools for coping and communication when someone in your family has an addiction.

Check in with your other children, too. Give them age-appropriate explanations and a trusted adult to talk with. They should not have to monitor their sibling’s substance use or manage a crisis.

Prayer, the sacraments, and a trusted priest or pastoral minister can support you as a parent. Spiritual support belongs alongside appropriate healthcare, counseling, and treatment.

Explore More Resources

Additional guidance for conversations, care, and safety planning

Family Safety Tool

Plan Ahead for Difficult Moments

A worksheet for parents concerned about a teen or young adult’s substance use or mental health. Identify warning signs, emergency contacts, and steps to protect everyone at home.

Parent Resource Hub

Learn More About Your Child’s Substance Use

Find parent resources on cannabis, treatment, recovery, and supporting a child at different ages. Includes access to guides and self-paced training.

Free Worksheets

SMART Recovery Family & Friends

Exercises to help you think through communication, coping, and your own wellbeing while supporting your child.

!! Important Safety Information

Know what to do in an emergency

Call 911 immediately if your child cannot be awakened, has slow or stopped breathing, or may be overdosing. If opioids may be involved, give naloxone if available and follow its instructions. Follow the dispatcher’s directions for breathing support or CPR, and stay with your child until help arrives. Do not assume they can sleep it off.

Call 911 for a seizure, loss of consciousness, serious breathing difficulty, or immediate danger to your child or anyone else. Seek medical guidance about stopping substances safely; do not attempt to manage severe withdrawal at home.